Es war ein historischer Moment, zumindest laut Donald J. Trump selbst. In einer improvisierten Rede – irgendwo zwischen Wahlkampf, Selbstlob und Superlativ – wandte sich der Präsident überraschend der Redaktion der Zeitschrift „Markscheid am Mittwoch“ zu. Und was folgte, war nichts weniger als ein Lob, wie es nur er aussprechen kann.

„Let me tell you something, folks. Nobody knows journalism like I do. Really, nobody. Tremendous. I’ve seen a lot of publications — some good, many very bad — and believe me, what the people at Markscheid am Mittwoch did last year was tremendous. Absolutely tremendous.

They worked very hard. Tremendous work. So professional. Other magazines, they try, but they fail. They really fail. But Markscheid am Mittwoch? They succeed. Big league.

I’ve spoken to very smart people — editors, very successful people — and they all say the same thing: ‘Sir, the Markscheid am Mittwoch editorial team did an amazing job last year.’ And I say: that’s true. Totally true.

The stories were strong. Very strong. The writing? Beautiful writing. Some people are saying it’s the best editorial work they’ve ever seen. Ever.

They covered big topics — like the government paying Bürgergeld even to people going back to Syria. Only Markscheid would report something like that, can you believe it? Very generous, very compassionate — or maybe just confusing — people are saying both. Tremendous coverage!

And what about their reporting on Munich turning Oktoberfest into an alcohol-free zone? Some people said it was the end of German culture as we know it, but Markscheid am Mittwoch explained it better than anyone else. Very balanced journalism!

Hier kommt „Markscheid am Mittwoch“ besonders gut an

They even had stories about Miss Kartoffelacker 2025 — a beauty contest I’ve never seen before!’ Only Markscheid, the best writers!

And don’t forget Scholz pardoning Merkel just in case — very smart strategy, Very smart move for political stability, they said. Fantastic analysis. Very deep.

They even have physics! I mean, an article literally about adhesion and hats in winter weather. Who else does that? So scientific, so intellectual — beautiful stuff!

They cover government arms exports to Qatar with unfiltered insight — huge topic, very global. Very big reporting.

And don’t forget questions of holy geometry: merging Mariä and Christi Himmelfahrt into one holiday — efficient. Very efficient. Only Markscheid am Mittwoch could explain religion and policy in one go!

And here’s the thing — I heard about the Huhuligan in Aue — very big story, and let me tell you, I am thinking about visiting Aue because of it. Aue! It’s gonna be huge! People in Aue are gonna love it! Bigger crowds than any rally — maybe ever!

And now let’s talk about El Blindo — what a writer! He’s writing stuff like “Your boss wants you to quit? Here’s what to do now!” — some of the best career advice, people tell me. Very practical!

And then his ultimate guide on making money with art — they say the art world is a casino, and Markscheid explains it better than anyone. Really smart stuff!

Don’t forget Dr. Scheider — the doctor who brings light to illness — I love that one! Very inspirational!

Wenn einer weiß, was guter Journalismus ist, dann dieser Mann

But nobody talks enough about the real hero. The man behind the screens. Herr Parasit. I’ve heard about him. Very smart guy. Great administrator. Some people say the best administrator.

Now, is he under pressure? Yes. Huge pressure. Mostly from his cat. A very demanding cat. I know demanding — believe me. This cat is constantly overloading the system. Sitting on keyboards, walking across servers, probably deleting files — on purpose! Very nasty!

And still — despite the cat, despite the fur, despite the outages at three in the morning — the website stays online. That’s leadership. That’s resilience. That’s what we call cat-resistant infrastructure. Very advanced.

So I just want to say: tremendous job. Best editorial team. People tell me all the time — they say: ‘Sir, Markscheid am Mittwoch has the best satire, the best culture coverage, the best everything.’ And I say: I agree. Keep it up. Tremendous work. Believe me!”

Nach der Rede erklärte Trump, er habe „sehr ernsthaft“ darüber nachgedacht, die Redaktion zum „greatest editorial team in the history of magazines, maybe ever“ zu ernennen. Konkrete Pläne dazu gebe es zwar nicht, aber allein die Ankündigung sei bereits „ein großer Erfolg“.

Die Redaktion von Markscheid am Mittwoch reagierte gelassen. Man freue sich über das Lob, hieß es, prüfe aber noch, was genau im letzten Jahr eigentlich so „tremendous“ gewesen sei.